Ummm…

Okay, so, once again, I have no idea what’s wrong with me… but by 0810 this morning I had already cried at my desk once, I’m nauseous, stressed out, and tired, my fiancé is being a dick because he’s also tired, I just found out that someone I consider to be a near and dear friend has been lying to me for weeks, I just discovered that yet more of my personal life has made it to the gossip grapevines of this stupid fucking command, my financial situation is still bleak, and at this point I’m really just done.

If I could, I would flip a table and storm out.

My doctor is currently the only one in clinic for his team, so he’s doing the work of four providers, which means we have a full schedule every day and I’m his only corpsman. I am literally busy all day, from 0800 to 1630, and then I get to eat shitty food at the galley and go home to an empty room, say hi to my fish, and then lay in my bed and cry.

I had intended on making some time for self care last night, but ended up having a good friend who was recently dumped reach out to me and tell me he was drinking and shouldn’t be alone, so I spent four or five hours taking care of his drunken, maudlin ass. I’m glad I was able to be there for him – I adore the kid, really, truly – but I just need some goddamn me time! I feel like I’m not asking for a whole lot here.

Augh. Anyway.

Tonight. Tonight after work I will self care the crap out of myself. I will go the gym and work out and then I will grab dinner from the galley, go home, and play video games until I pass out.

SIGH. Until next time, stay frosty nerds. Excelsior.

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