Holy Bajesus What Is Happening

All right, this is some next level BULLSHIT. The United States Navy, like many employers, does random drug and alcohol testing. Normally, the way it works when you’re on the list, is you have until 0800 to breathe into the Alcohol Detection Device (ADD) and until 1100 to provide a urine sample. The catch is, if you’re on the first urinalysis (UA) list of the month, you also have to do a spot check PRT (physical readiness test.) I was on the UA list today (for the fourth time in less than a month, which I’m starting to take kind of personally) and due to the insanity of my morning and how hectic my clinic schedule was, I didn’t get a chance to do the UA. Due to gross incompetence on the part of one of our UA coordinators, I was marked as “on leave.” That means that I likely have to redo the UA and since it’s almost the end of February, guess who’s probably going to wind up doing a spot PRT, failing, and being on FEP (Fitness Enhancement Program)?

This guy.

Because I don’t have enough stress in my life currently, apparently, so the universe has decided to just pile it on.

… I don’t need this right now. I have enough going on. I’m currently trying my best to study for the Navy E-4 advancement exam – which very few people even pass, much less pick up rank off of – I’m taking college courses, doing volunteer work, trying to remain friends with my ex-fiancé (which isn’t going well, due to him being a petty, passive aggressive fuck), trying to get enough sleep, recovering from the head cold from hell, and still struggling to lose weight because the galley doesn’t offer healthy options and trying to get to the gym is like trying to win the lottery – as in the odds of it happening are slim to none. I do not have time for this massive amount of bullshit. Trying to add FEP into that might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and pushes me to talk to my psychiatrist about getting on limited duty and going to the medical board I’d have to attend to get out of the Navy. There isn’t enough tea in the world to soothe my soul today, and that is SAYING something.

I think after work I’m going to go to the gym and do some light cardio (nothing too heavy because I don’t want to relapse with this nasty cold) and then go home and start drinking for the weekend. Probably not the best plan to cope, but what the heck else is a girl supposed to do when dealing with this much shit?! Alternatively, I might just have a hot toddy and then go to sleep early. I’m turning into such a little old lady these days… well, and I say “turning into” like this hasn’t been me for years. I don’t go out on Fridays. I stay home and drink wine and crochet and watch Netflix. All that’s missing is a few cats and a rocking chair.

This cold has really taken it out of me, man. My lungs and chest hurt pretty much constantly, I’m always tired, and my nose is running like Usain Bolt. I think a long weekend of naps and anime is in order to help me recover from this crazy illness. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a Mack truck, and I’m just glad that it’s finally on its way out *knock on wood*.
My college class seems pretty cool so far; it’s an art history class about understanding film and learning about cinematic themes and the development of modern cinema. I’m trying to knock out all of my weekly homework for it each week on Monday so that I can devote the rest of the week to studying for advancement, which at this point is pretty much just trying to remember obscure form and instruction numbers and recalling if bubonic plague is gram negative or gram positive and cocci or bacci. I swear, half the stuff I’m studying has no bearing on my job and I’ll never need to know it again, but I feel like if I don’t know it for this exam, it will be the one question I answer wrong that keeps me from picking up rank, and I don’t think I can live with that. I need to be a petty officer, man. I need to start advancing and get my life together.

All that said, I think it’s time to sign off and do my best to push through what’s left of my workday, which is mercifully only about two hours.

Until next time, stay frosty, nerds. Excelsior!


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