You big, beautiful bastard, you.
Dude, I am so bad at this. I really keep meaning to do this on a daily basis, but as is clearly shown by my monthly tally, I forget more days then I remember. I’m wondering if I shouldn’t add it to my bullet journal dailies and see if that helps me get more consistent with this…
Today is a momentous occasion! After months of agonizing, trying and failing, and generally just being an unmotivated lump, I went to the gym. At five AM. And actually worked out. AT FIVE AM. I’m super proud of myself for that. It’s been a pretty great morning in general, and I’m still riding the endorphin high from my workout. I’ve started on the walk to run program that my physical therapist put me on and I’m hoping that, since our ten week notice for the PRT just came out last week, I will be in shape and running fast enough to run my PRT by the time it rolls around in May. I might not be, but I can be optimistic and hope. Heck, if this all works out and goes well enough, maybe I’ll stay in the Navy a little longer and try for FMF for my next command! I would love to go greenside, earn my FMF qualification, and have that warfare device on my uniform. But I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. At this point my main goal is going to be to maintain this. I’m planning on doing Freeletics and other miscellaneous bodyweight workouts after work most days, breaking up the routine with the occasional trip to the pool, but this week’s focus is going to be legs. Gotta trim down those thunder thighs and get back that muscle tone, boiiii. I am really super pumped about this. The whole idea of getting back in shape and taking progress pictures and feeling better is appealing enough, but then factoring in people noticing and commenting on how much healthier I look… It’s a lot of motivation. But, at the end of the day, I’m doing this for me. I’m working really hard right now trying to get my life squared away and up to par and I don’t have the time or energy to spend on what other people think of me. I know my truths, even if no one else does, and that should be what matters.
It turns out that splitting up with my ex-fiancé may have been the best thing I ever did for myself. Not to take anything away from the relationship, because when it was good (which, to be fair, was most of the time) it was really, really good, but being single is definitely better for me right now. It has driven me to take a long, good, hard look at myself, reevaluate my life, and make some major and much-needed changes to my lifestyle, which include everything from changing up the way I eat and how often I work out to paying more attention to the spiritual aspects of my life and trying to fulfill myself on every level. I hate to be such a cliché, but it’s like Ru Paul says: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love anybody else?” The woman knows her stuff.
Anyway. I’m on a twenty-two day straight streak of practicing my Spanish with Duolingo, which I am exceedingly proud of. I’m something like twelve or thirteen percent fluent at this point, and I’m noticing more and more that speaking Spanish in daily life is coming more easily to me. I occasionally notice myself thinking in Spanish as well, which I hear is an excellent sign in terms of learning a new language. I do so wish I’d started with my foray into foreign languages earlier in life, as I’m told it’s much easier to learn a new language when you’re young. I think the hardest part of Spanish for me is the multiple tenses and the whole adjectives come after the noun they modify thing, but I like to think I’m starting to get the hang of it.
At this point, I feel like things are finally starting to turn around for me. I’m stable on my new medications, I’m making a real effort to revamp my life, I’m growing steadily more fluent in Spanish, I’m finally getting over the head cold from hell, my work life has improved ten-fold, and I have Taco Tuesday plans with a cute guy. It’s all coming together, man.
Until next time, stay frosty, nerds. Excelsior!