Homesickness, TCCC, and Stress

For some reason (utterly unbeknownst to me) I woke up today feeling exceptionally homesick. To my recollection, I haven’t felt this strong a sense of longing for home since my first month or so in Spain, but I nearly teared up listening to “Fly Over States” by Jason Aldean this morning. I think maybe Skyping with my parents yesterday might have something to do with it, but it was awfully good to see their smiling faces. I smell like my dad today; I’m not only wearing the same deodorant he wears, but also his aftershave. Dang, I’m about to cry right now! Stupid homesickness. I’m going to have to do whatever it takes to make sure that I can make it home in June for Caleb’s wedding, because I need a break from my life right now, and I really need to see my family. I know that being away from family is hard on everyone in the military, but I feel like it’s at least five times worse for families like mine. Being mostly Irish, we’re such a close-knit unit and having even one of us so far away like this is really difficult.

In other news, work has got me beyond stressed out today. And I was in such a good mood this morning, too… I got to sleep in for an hour, had time to get breakfast at the galley, and got in to work nice and early. Everything seemed to be going well which, in retrospect, should have been my first clue. It is Monday, after all. My doc showed up for work and informed me that despite everything we’d gone through to change things last week, it looked like I would be attending TCCC after all. I was stressing out about that when Spevere showed up and informed me that HE was going to TCCC this week. We couldn’t both go, obviously, because someone had to stay behind to keep the clinic open. We discussed the situation with Doc Miles, who immediately went to talk to Chief, but the end result (despite Doc’s protests) was that one of us had to go to TCCC. We sent Spevere, leaving me to run the clinic solo, and while that’s not exceptionally difficult for me, it bothers me to no end that now neither Spevere nor I get to attend EAP. As much as we’ve studied on our own, not being able to go and learn from second and first classes who have been in for years and learned a ton is something of a crushing blow. I’m just hoping that everyone I’ve talked to is right and that other commands aren’t this bad at communicating and coordinating. You would think that the fact that I work in a two-person clinic would carry more weight and be given more consideration when decisions like this get made, but evidently not.

Anyway. I’m not going to try to do my homework here at work today; I’m going to focus on studying for advancement and patient care until I get to go home, because I’ve simply got too much on my plate today to try to add watching silent movie shorts while at work to the list. I’m wearing approximately twelve hats today, and it’s definitely going to be a stretch, but what better way to prove myself as a corpsman than successfully running a clinic solo for a whole week?? I just hope my Thursday duty day doesn’t get hectic, because if I get called out of clinic, there will be no one here to screen patients for the docs. This whole thing was really ill thought out.

The selection phase for CMS-ID was supposed to be the last few weeks, so I may be able to find out if I got chosen for orders today! I’m super excited but also incredibly nervous. To be honest, I really don’t care where I go next. My main priority is getting out of Rota and getting into (hopefully) a better command. I also would prefer to spend some time at a slightly larger hospital where (hopefully) people will be less in each other’s business and more focused on themselves, if you know what I mean. I just want my private and personal life to be just that: personal and private. I’m not a fan of having people know my business when I’m not the one who told them.

Poor Ben is learning just how small this command is in a bit of a crash course. His first night in Rota, Mercier, Spevere, Arvin, and I took him to Cream’s and he told me that the next day people in lab were asking him about it. I told him that was normal here and he was less than enthused, but what can you do? It’s the nature of the beast at small commands, because people get bored and when they get bored they create drama. It’s a legitimate problem here.

Anyway. I think that’s it for me for today. Until next time, stay frosty, nerds!

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