ANXIETY OH GOD

I swear I started this post on Monday, but then… well, that was two days ago, so while I can’t remember exactly what happened, I know there was a perfectly valid reason for why the post didn’t get finished. … don’t look at me like that, there was!

 

Moving on, the Navy-wide advancement exam for sailors attempting to achieve the rank of Petty Officer Third class is tomorrow. I’m going to vomit just thinking about it. I’m normally not a terribly anxious person, but in certain social situations, when giving speeches or addressing groups just in general, and when it comes to test taking, I turn into a bundle of raw nerve endings and borderline insanity. I test well and I’m reasonably smart, but I always get so nervous right before a big test…

And tomorrow is one of the most important tests I’ll ever take in my life, because it determines if I advance my career or not. I’m freakin’ out, man!

Trying to focus on other things. I’ve been heavily fatigued all week (not sure why, as I’ve been getting the normal amount of sleep), so I’ve decided that I am going to cold turkey quit caffeine starting Monday morning, start tracking my water intake and calories seriously again, and get back into my daily gym routine (or at least make sure I’m doing bodyweight workouts on the daily). I can’t expect to see a change if I don’t make one! Honestly, I’m looking forward to coming back to the barracks. I’ve enjoyed dog sitting for my HM1, but I don’t think I’ll do it again. It’s been too stressful with not having a car and it’s made getting to the gym impossible.

I just want it to be the weekend. I’m so ready for sleeping in and not stressing out about studying anymore and hopefully spending some time with my Airman. I’m so exhausted today, I’m about to fall asleep at my desk. I need sleep and cuddles and wine this weekend.

~

Went and got food from the café attached to our hospital and was SO out of it that they had to call my name repeatedly. When I finally registered that they were talking to me, the girls teased me and asked if I needed another coffee. They’re the worst, but they’re also not wrong. I do need the coffee. I drink the coffee and then I do the things. I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me! I’m looking forward to getting everything pushed through for the sleep study LCDR Stetler wants me to do. I would hate to be diagnosed with sleep apnea, because that would just be one more freaking health issue for me to deal with, but at least if I get that diagnosis we can start treating it and I can (hopefully) start sleeping well again. I really just need to get back in the gym, though. Being overweight is a huge contributing factor to sleep apnea, and while I doubt getting fit would completely solve the problem, it certainly couldn’t HURT. Plus, I know I have more energy when I work out on a regular basis.

I’m so tired today that the thought of getting up from my desk to walk to the galley for lunch is completely daunting. I have to make myself do it, because I know I get hangry if I don’t eat, but I’m so tired… UGH.

 

Until next time, stay frosty, nerds!

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