Fruit Monkeys Lie. Obviously. Well, it’s once again a Monday. I’m grumpy and everything sucks. I suppose I should begin at the beginning, so here it goes.

Friday night, which was Saint Patrick’s Day. I got all dolled up and went out with my usual crew, plus a few new pals. I nursed a (green) Adios Motherfucker and tried not to keep one eye on the door, waiting for blind date to show up. Tucker had told me that he would be coming into Rota around 2000, so when it hit 1945 and he still hadn’t shown up and the squad wanted to go out in town, I shot him a message, letting him know where we’d be. A few hours into the evening, I resigned myself to the fact that I’d been stood up, and not just for one night. He’d told me he was going to spend the weekend with me, so there went my entire weekend. As the evening wore on, I stepped out of the bar we were sitting in and lit a cigarette, sagging against the wall and rubbing my face. Complete and utter waste of makeup and a cute outfit. And then I heard the rumble of a car engine approaching; when it slowed to a stop in front of me, I glanced up cautiously and found myself smiling for the first time all night. It was one of my best friends, a guy named Aaron, who kidnapped me a proceeded to brighten my evening up.

Saturday day was pretty decent; I ventured out to Cadiz with my squad (me, Taylor, and Ben) and spent the day sight seeing and eating amazing helado. I had made plans to grab drinks and hang out with an Air Force guy… who proceeded to be the second person to stand me up this past weekend. Luckily for me, I’d taken two of my girl friends out with me, and they kept me from slipping into the depths of self pity and despair.

I pretty much grumped around all day Sunday (though I did get to catch some awesome Pokémon) and didn’t do shit, because I was down and felt bad about myself after being stood up TWICE IN ONE WEEKEND. I did get some laundry done… but that was about all I did. Oh, that and get trolled by some douche bag frat boy asshole and his little buddy on Tinder. Which actually bordered on cruel.

Which brings us to this morning, Monday. I actually woke up in a relatively good mood (which should have been my first red flag.) I showered and made myself some coffee and got all the way to work… and then realized that I’d left my locker key at home on my nightstand. So, I opened my clinic, texted my co-worker, and then walked my happy ass all the way back to my barracks to get my locker key, then all the way back to work to get ready for my workday.

I am disgruntled, people. Dis. Gruntled. Is it Friday yet?


Until next time, stay frosty, nerds.


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